In a world focused on sharing achievements, it’s easy to tie your worth to likes and applause. Discover how to celebrate your progress in meaningful ways, from gratitude to self-praise.
Social media makes sharing good news easy. A new haircut? A perfect exam score? For some people, the instinct to post about these online is as strong as it is to tell their nearest and dearest. After all, it feels like proof that you’re succeeding at the things you set out to achieve. But not all forms of progress are so outwardly obvious, and quieter ways to mark these developments can be just as meaningful.
Why do we share our achievements?
When you do something exciting or tick an important goal off your list, it’s natural to want the people in your life to know about it. Maybe you’ve just mastered French braiding, been accepted into a renowned art program, or finally been able to buy the new shoes you’d been saving for.
Whatever it is, when you’ve worked hard to make something happen, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating. And when you do so online and the ‘likes’ stack up, it feels great. But things can become less straightforward.
How social media impacts self-worth
The good feeling that comes with recognition is thanks to dopamine, a pleasure-inducing chemical in the brain. Psychotherapist Alex Carling explains its significance: ‘We’re hardwired for connection as humans. And when we use social media to connect, the reward centres of the brain become activated, releasing dopamine into the bloodstream.’
This is what drives compulsive use of social media. The heart emojis are like finding treasures in a video game – you can’t help wanting more and more. But when the hairstyle is old news, the art program’s over, and everyone’s admired the shoes, what are you supposed to offer up next?
It can make you feel that you need to keep the achievements coming – and, for most people, that’s a difficult thing to do.
This is when it can start to feel like you’ve lost your way. When your followers were patting you on the back for every post, you might have felt interesting, important, and worthwhile – but as soon as that fizzles out, it’s easy to doubt yourself.
Finding validation within yourself
‘We live in a world where we’ve outsourced our validation to the click of a button,’ says Nadia Mendoza, co-founder of a mental-health workshop organisation. ‘And when we can’t get that thumbs-up, it can be really anxiety-inducing.’ Finding other ways to take pride in achievements is one way out of this trap (see change your view below).
Progress is important. Everyone enjoys noticing themselves growing and changing. It’s healthy to want to celebrate that you’re moving in a positive direction.
But sometimes the most meaningful kind of reward doesn’t come from a new personal best on the ‘like’ count. Instead, it comes from appreciating your life, and yourself – just as you are, right now.
5 ways to celebrate progress without sharing online
Next time you’re in a hurry to prove yourself in public, pause and think about why you’re feeling this way. Then try these five ideas for how to do things differently:
1 CELEBRATE THE SMALL STUFF
Just because something doesn’t feel instantly shareable, that doesn’t make it a waste of time. Have you started walking a certain distance every day? Did you finish reading a book this week? Are you better at standing up for yourself than you were a year ago? Make sure to congratulate yourself for this – if it’s a big deal for you, it’s a big deal full stop.
2 COMPLIMENT YOURSELF
Instead of waiting for kind words from others, why not send them your own way instead? ‘Remind yourself of a time when you were a good listener, or a non-judgemental ear,’ says Nadia. This is a great way to stay aware of your everyday achievements and triumphs, instead of only focusing on the louder, social-media-ready stuff.
3 FORGET THE GLOW-UP
We live in a society that often links progress to the idea of personal transformation – changing the way you look to fit in. ‘But,’ says Nadia, ‘a true glow-up is much more about the evolution of our entire being – self-love, wisdom, and becoming the best version of you.’
4 CONSIDER WHAT YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR
It’s great to be ambitious, but when you notice yourself aiming sky-high purely for the sake of external validation, take a step back and think about the aspects of your life that you appreciate already. ‘Gratitude journals change our brain’s way of thinking and help us to notice the good things, without the need for anyone else to be involved or social media interfering quite so much,’ says Alex. You can even use your planner pages in Teen Breathe to write down what you’re grateful for.
5 WRITE A PRAISE POEM.
Take your three favourite qualities and see if you can write a haiku about them to celebrate who you are today. A haiku is a Japanese poem made up of three lines – the first has five syllables, then seven, then five again. For example:
I MAKE MY FRIENDS LAUGH.
I SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE.
DRAW, PAINT, MEDITATE.
WORDS: Sophie Jo
This article was originally published under the title Praise You in Issue 42 – In the Feels. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
