New experiences can feel overwhelming, but they don’t need to hold you back. Discover why fear of the unknown happens and learn to embrace change with confidence.
For many people, doing something new can spark a heightened sense of unease. The unknown may seem scary at times and can lead to worries about what to expect. Fears like this might surface before embarking on a new challenge, such as learning to play an instrument or joining a sports club for the first time. Or anxieties might arise ahead of big changes like starting a new school or moving house.
Why new experiences feel overwhelming
While these worries can often feel tough to tame, it’s important to remember that feeling this way is normal and there are steps that can be taken to make the leap into the unknown feel easier.
What is anticipatory anxiety?
Feeling apprehensive about new experiences is sometimes referred to as ‘anticipatory anxiety’. This may include fixating on what could go wrong or just having a general sense of nervousness about not knowing what the situation is going to be like. The possibilities might prey on your mind for days or even weeks in the lead-up to the event, with your imagination conjuring up worst-case scenarios.
Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo is a clinical psychologist. She says: ‘People don’t like uncertainty – it can make our brains go into threat mode or panic mode as we attempt to get things under control. The important thing is to normalise what’s happening. Anxiety happens to us all.’
How anxiety impacts the mind & body
There are various ways this anxiety might be felt physically in the run-up to a new experience or event. Tara lists breathing changes, increased heart rate, an upset stomach, or changes in sleep patterns or appetite as common signs.
People might behave differently, too, and do things like avoid friends or put off tasks. Some might withdraw or struggle at school because they’re distracted. ‘This threat system is often referred to as the fight, flight, or freeze response,’ says Tara. ‘Our body prepares to protect itself. However, sometimes, the threat isn’t real – as in the worry about certain events.’
Reframing fear as excitement
These feelings can even happen prior to something positive, such as a holiday. Whatever’s on the horizon might be appealing – the chance to visit somewhere new or experience something different is exciting. But the fear of the unknown can still cause nervousness.
Acknowledging these feelings and realising they’re a common response is an important first step in taking the anxiety out of new experiences. This allows for the events ahead to be approached in a rational way, and so you feel able to reach out to others for advice or support.
6 ways to face the fear of the unknown
Six suggestions for taking the fear out of what’s on the horizon:
1 DO SOME RESEARCH
If you’re visiting a new place, ask friends if they’ve been or look online to see images of where you’re going so you know what to expect. If you’re about to go to your first sports training session, read up on what it’s like or watch videos on what’s involved. If you’re facing something like a music exam, chatting to your teacher about what to expect and how best to prepare could help you feel much calmer.
2 BE OPEN ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS AND DON’T KEEP THEM BOTTLED UP
Tara says that sharing your worries with someone you trust will help you feel less alone and give you the space to talk things through. Sometimes, airing issues in this way helps you see things from a new angle.
3 MAKE TIME TO DO OTHER THINGS
This could be something creative like writing or painting, spending time with friends, or going out for a walk in nature. Distractions like these stop you from spending too much time worrying about what’s ahead.
4 TALK TO PEOPLE IN THE SAME BOAT
If you and your friends are all going to have speaking parts in the school play, for example, tell them how you feel. They’re probably nervous too and will be relieved to be able to talk about it. You can offer each other support, and then enjoy the experience together.
5 REMIND YOURSELF WHY WHATEVER’S COMING UP IS WORTH TRYING
Think about what it means to you and what motivated you to do it. Even though you feel nervous, the experience may well have a positive impact. Keeping the upsides in mind balances out the negative thoughts and puts them in perspective.
6 PLAN A CELEBRATION
Think about how you might mark your achievement once it’s over. Will you go out for pizza with your friends after you’ve performed together in the school play? Even envisioning relaxing with a good book or watching your favourite movie is a great trick to get you through the new task ahead.
This article was originally published under the title Into the Unknown in Issue 39 – Into the Unknown. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful fun.
