A clinical psychologist explains how to be your own best advocate. Uncover six practical tips to help you speak up for your needs, build confidence and support yourself in everyday life.
In general, it’s common to want to avoid things that seem like a struggle, but when you face up to a difficulty and find a way through it, you’ll usually find that you grow as a person. This is partly because these challenges give you the chance to be an advocate for yourself or others.
HOW TO BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE
Six tips for learning how to support yourself:
1 FIND AN ADVOCACY ROLE MODEL
You might have a parent or caregiver, a teacher, or coach who are good advocates,’ Rachel says. ‘Listen to the messages they give you.’
2 USE YOUR FEELINGS AS A GUIDE
Sad, happy, worried, relaxed – feelings are a signal about what’s working or not working for you. Ask yourself what’s causing you discomfort and what would help to make you feel better.
3 CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME TO SPEAK UP
If you’d like to have a conversation about what you need, work out the right time and place to open the discussion. Ask whoever’s involved: ‘Can I talk to you about some things I’ve been thinking about? When’s a good time?’
4 COMMUNICATE CLEARLY & CALMLY
Communicate in a direct manner and listen to feedback. If you feel like you’re not being heard, you can state this.
5 BE KIND
If advocating for yourself means asking someone else to alter how they do things, keep the focus on how you feel.
For example: ‘I’m finding the pace of these piano lessons too fast and I’m losing confidence,’ is likely to be more effective than, ‘You’re going too fast and making me feel bad about myself.’
6 PRACTISE SELF-ADVOCACY EVERY DAY
Look for small opportunities where you can state your needs. ‘Advocating for yourself actually takes practice,’ says Rachel. It’s not always easy to stand up for what you need but it’s always worthwhile.
WORDS: Ellen Curran
This article was originally published under the title Own Your Power in Issue 46 – In Your Own Time. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
