There’s a lot of fun to be had with filters and apps, but it’s important to also celebrate the natural, unique you. Learn how to embrace your individuality and practise self-love with our Inner Strengths exercise.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed something that you wished you could change? In an ideal world, the answer would be ‘no’ and you’d wake up every morning celebrating the fact that you’re enough, exactly as you are.
The trouble is, from TV shows to social media feeds, there are messages everywhere that there’s a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’ way to look. This can lead to the belief that the world is full of ‘perfect’ people and it’s possible to look just as flawless by making a few changes to your appearance.
How filters & apps change perceptions
Face-altering filters create an alternate reality, where you can achieve the look you want, even if it’s just for a second. On the fun side, there’s the chance to turn yourself into a unicorn, decorate yourself with animal ears, or see what you’d look like as a Disney character.
But it’s also possible to view a version of yourself with bigger eyes, longer lashes, a smaller nose or fuller lips – and that can be a disorienting experience, especially for people who use filters regularly.
Some celebrities and influencers are known for using apps that blur skin texture and change the size or shape of specific body parts. Even videos can be edited to make waists smaller or smiles wider.
It makes sense, then, that viewing these videos time and again can feel deflating. After all, they’re not real. And who wouldn’t fall short when comparing themselves to a filtered, faked, or carefully curated version of reality?
Recognising social media’s impact on self-confidence
Imagine hanging out with a friend who constantly picks at the way you look. On Monday, they tell you how you could improve your hairstyle. On Tuesday, they say the way you do your eyeliner doesn’t enhance your natural eye shape. On Wednesday, they’re unkind about your skin and keep mentioning a new product that’ll make your complexion super clear.
Would you want this friend in your life? Absolutely not. By the end of the week you’d be exhausted – and, worse, you’d probably be feeling quite negative about yourself. In some ways, social media can become that picky friend. Of course, it isn’t a real-life person sitting there in the room – but many people spend a lot of time with it, and it’s good at pointing out all the ways in which users might not compare favourably with others.
The feeling of being ‘not good enough’ affects people deeply. A 2022 Girlguiding survey found that just 10 percent of women aged 17 to 21 were completely happy with their appearance, compared with 42 percent of seven to 10-year-olds. And over a third of girls and young women aged 11 to 21 said they didn’t like posting pictures of themselves unless they used filters or apps to change their appearance. Somehow, the message has been received that natural is not enough.
Why beauty standards don’t define you
Here’s something that’s worth considering: often, the companies that create make-up and skincare products – or face-altering filters – want you to feel that you’re lacking. Why? Because if you didn’t, you might not buy or use any of their products. And they’d lose money.
It’s a similar story when it comes to celebrities and influencers who are paid to promote products – their lives may seem perfect, but there’s huge pressure on them to look a certain way. They may even wish they could step away from the filters and embrace their natural appearance without being criticised.
So, if the push for perfection ever feels overwhelming, try to keep that in mind. Zoom out from what you’re being shown and dig deeper beneath the surface.
Celebrate differences in yourself & others
It’s sad, when you think about it, that there’s pressure to look the same as others, especially when you consider that one of the most interesting aspects about human beings is that every single person is wonderfully unique.
So, rather than rushing to turn yourself into a version of what you’ve seen online, try another avenue. Embrace and present the natural, real you while also focusing on those internal values that people can’t see – what kind of a person you are, what sort of a friend you’d like to be, and how you might support others (see opposite).
In a world that profits from making people insecure, it’s a bold, brave move to embrace who you are and do things differently.
Ready to focus on what makes you, you? Download our Inner Strengths exercise to reflect on your positive qualities and build self-confidence. Keep it handy as a reminder of your unique value.
💪 DOWNLOAD THE INNER STRENGTHS EXERCISE 💪
This article was originally published under the title Be Real, Be You in Issue 41 – Embrace the Bloom. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
