When someone starts mirroring your look – your clothes, your hair, even your taste in music – it can feel unsettling. Here’s how to navigate a copycat friend or sibling with calm, confidence and a clear sense of self.
Being copied by a friend or sibling can stir up a confusing mix of emotions. While imitation is often called the sincerest form of flattery, having someone mirror your style, taste or interests can leave you feeling like a piece of your identity has been taken without asking. The good news? There are gentle, practical ways to handle it without losing the friendship – or yourself.
FOUR WAYS TO HANDLE A COPYCAT FRIEND OR SIBLING
If someone’s mirroring your style a little too closely, these four approaches can help you feel more like yourself again.
1 TAKE TURNS WITH OUTFITS AND STYLES
When it comes to siblings copying your clothes or fashion choices, try chatting with a parent or guardian about how you’d prefer not to share certain items. Another option is to make a friendly agreement not to wear the same outfit or hairstyle on the same day. A bit of structure can take the pressure off and help you both feel respected.
2 SPEAK UP USING “I” STATEMENTS
It’s OK to express how you’re feeling and to set kind boundaries, especially when the person copying you is a close friend you don’t want to lose. Psychologist Karin Peeters suggests using sentences that begin with phrases like “I notice…”, “I feel…” and “I need…”. This keeps the conversation focused on your emotions rather than criticising the other person.
3 BECOME UN-COPYABLE BY SHOPPING UNIQUELY
On a practical level, if you love being an individual, shopping in smaller independent stores or vintage shops can help you discover one-of-a-kind pieces. Op shops are a wonderful place to pick up unique bargains, too, and there’s the bonus of giving pre-loved clothes a second life. The more unusual your finds, the harder they are to replicate.
4 REFLECT ON TIMES YOU’VE COPIED OTHERS
Try journalling about a time when you were influenced or inspired by friends. Perhaps you bought an item because others had, or got into a band or singer through someone who loved them. Did you follow the trend because you genuinely loved it? Was it a desire to fit in? Or a mix of both? Writing about these feelings can help you feel more relaxed about someone copying you – and remind you that imitation is often a sign of admiration, not malice.
WORDS: Kate Orson
ILLUSTRATIONS: Lehel Kovács
This article was originally published under the title Two of a Kind in Issue 49. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
