Speaking and listening are crucial life skills and there are lots of ways to find your voice and express yourself. Here are Teen Breathe’s tips for building confidence in communicating.
Have you ever had a great idea that felt fully formed in your head, but when you tried to put it into words, it came out all wrong? Or perhaps you’ve been told by a teacher or family member that you need to ‘express yourself with confidence’ or ‘speak up more’ and haven’t had a clue where to start. If so, you’re not alone.
The thing is, no one is simply born with the ability to speak confidently – be that in front of a crowd or even just one other person.
Alice Stott is a program director for an organisation dedicated to championing speaking skills. She says: ‘The art of speaking and listening, otherwise known as oracy, is made up of a set of skills which need to be explicitly taught and regularly practised.’
So, why is it so important to learn these skills? Well, research shows that the art of speaking is important for all aspects of life – your relationships and mental health as well as your education and career choices.
And, as Alice says, there’s never been a better time to ‘unleash the enduring power of young people’s voices in shaping the future’.
While it may seem like a daunting task, there are lots of ways you can develop your oracy skills, which can be divided into four main areas.
“There is as much wisdom in listening as there is in speaking” – Daniel Dae Kim
Try the following exercises to hone your skills in each of the four main areas that support the art of speaking:
1 USE YOUR VOICE AND BODY WELL
This is how you use your voice and your body as an instrument to help you to communicate.
Think of someone you know who’s a confident speaker – this could be a teacher or someone in the public eye, like an actor or news reporter. The next time you see this person speaking, ask yourself the following questions:
- What is the volume of their voice like?
- How fast or slow are they speaking?
- Which words do they choose to emphasise?
- How clear is their pronunciation?
- Do they pause for effect?
- Where are they looking?
- Do they gesture with their hands as they speak?
- Do they use facial expressions to emphasise points?
Once you’ve observed how these skills aid spoken communication, pick one or two that you’d like to work on yourself.
2 CHOOSE WORDS THAT SUPPORT YOUR MESSAGE
This is how the words and sentence structures you choose ensure that you deliver your message clearly and appropriately. Pay attention to the different ways people speak in different settings and the language-based tools they use to make their points effectively. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do they use keywords or technical terminology in a way that makes them sound more authoritative and knowledgeable?
- Do they use rhetorical techniques, like metaphor or repetition, to ensure their point sticks in your mind more clearly?
- Do they use humour to put their audience at ease and keep them engaged?
When you come across examples of the above, try to remember them or, better still, note them down. Over time, you’ll develop a list of keywords and phrases to return to regularly for inspiration.
3 DEVELOP IDEAS THROUGH DISCUSSION
This is how you develop your own and others’ ideas and understanding through spoken communication. When you find yourself in conversation, consider using the following sentence starters to help you confidently contribute to the discussion:
- If you agree with what someone else is saying: ‘To build on what you said there, I think…’
- If you disagree with them: ‘I’d actually like to challenge you on that, because…’
- If you aren’t sure what they mean: ‘Can I just clarify what you meant by…?’
- If you want to find out more about their idea: ‘Would you mind giving a bit more detail about what you just said?’
4 CONNECT WITH OTHERS RESCPECTFULLY
This is your ability to interact appropriately and respectfully with others, being aware of their needs and valuing each voice equally. Reflect on how you engage with others in conversation and answer the following questions:
- Do you often come away realising you haven’t contributed much to a discussion?
- Do you notice yourself talking over others to make your point?
- What signals are you giving to others to show that you’re listening?
- Once you’ve given some attention to the way you interact in conversations, try the following tips to improve the flow:
- Give yourself a target of one or two contributions per discussion (you could use the sentence starters in the previous section as prompts).
- Wait for natural pauses in others’ speech if you want to make a point, and strive to invite other people into the conversation by simply asking them: ‘What do you think?’
- Signal that you’re listening by facing the speaker and nodding along.
- Build on their ideas or ask follow-up questions.
WORDS: HELEN HILLMAN
This article was originally published under the title Say it Loud, Say it Clear in Issue 45 – Lead the Way. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
