Understanding the highs and lows of being the go-to peacemaker between friends. But is always stepping in the best approach? Here’s our tips to find balance.
At school, a friend is upset because another classmate isn’t speaking to her, so you spend the day going between the warring parties trying to get them to see eye to eye. When you get home, you’re greeted by the sound of siblings shouting at each other. You can hear things are escalating, so you try to help them resolve their differences.
If this sounds like you, you might have taken on the role of friendship fixer. Of course, it’s great when you can help friends and family overcome seemingly impossible differences. However, if you find yourself sorting out rifts on a regular basis, then it might be an idea to explore the reasons behind your role and whether it’s having an impact on your wellbeing.
FINDING BALANCE WHEN FRIENDS FALL OUT
Teen Breathe’s tips to take the pressure off when friends fall out…
ACCEPT WHAT IS INSTEAD OF WHAT IFS
It can feel counterintuitive, but you might want to try accepting things as they are rather than hankering after how you want them to be. Journalling, meditating, or talking to a friend or parent can all help with this.
SET BOUNDARIES TO PROTECT YOUR ENERGY
If you avoid taking on a friend’s feelings, you’re more able to support them without becoming exhausted or ignoring your own needs.
SYMPATHISE WITHOUT SOLVING
Simply providing a listening ear can often be enough to make a friend feel better. Jumping in and trying to fix an argument for them might make them think that they can’t resolve things on their own or that you don’t believe they can.
EMPOWER YOUR FRIENDS
Letting people solve their own problems is sometimes the kindest thing to do. Learning from mistakes and growing in response to pain are important parts of life.
WORDS: LIZZIE BESTOW
This article was originally published under the title The Friendship Fixer in Issue 44 – With the Flow. You can get this issue here to enjoy more mindful inspiration.
