It’s natural for teens and tweens to want to gain family and friends’ approval. Discover how to ease the pressure of other people’s opinions.
Do you sometimes worry about what other people think of you? Maybe you’re concerned about whether you’re wearing the right outfit or anxious that you’ll say something silly during an outing or in class. Perhaps you tend to fret over what friends might say about you when you make a mistake. If so, you’re in good company.
Early humans evolved to pay attention to such things. It helped them fit into groups, which allowed them to share resources like tools and food. In turn, this increased their chances of survival. They learned to socialise and create networks, a skill that’s been passed down all the way to you.
HOW TO CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK
Ways to reduce the fear of what other people are thinking…
BREAK THE CYCLE
When you feel stressed, you’re likely to worry more about how others see you, and their reactions may set off more anxiety. Use tried-and-tested techniques for calming your mind and body, such as the TIPP method (see ‘TIPPs to ease tension’ in Teen Breathe Issue 44) or tapping (see ‘Tapping into calm’ in Teen Breathe Issue 45).
DEVELOP YOUR CONFIDENCE
Those with low self-esteem are more likely to care too much about what other people think of them. Build up a sense of pride in yourself by listing all the things you’re good at. This might be drawing, basketball, cooking, singing, being a good listener, or chatting easily to grandparents. The greater number of positive qualities you add to your list, the more confident you’ll feel.
REFRAME SETBACKS
If you train yourself to see life’s hiccups as a chance to learn and develop, you’re less likely to feel embarrassed by them. It will also give others the opportunity to admire your ability to take things in your stride.
CONNECT FOR COMPASSION
Reaching out to people who care about you will help you feel better when things go wrong and remind you of all the reasons to be proud of who you are.
WORDS: Pascale Duguay
ILLUSTRATIONS: Katie Smith
