We asked vegan chef Anthea Cheng to connect with her childhood, reflect on her teen years, and write a heartfelt letter offering advice and support to her 15-year-old self…
Chef, food blogger, freelance recipe developer, food photographer… Anthea Cheng is the versatile creator of Rainbow Nourishments, the author of Incredible Plant-Based Desserts, and has travelled internationally and around Australia to introduce people to the deliciousness of vegan cooking and baking. ‘My childhood was deeply embedded in food because my parents owned restaurants. They cooked everything from Chinese to Italian to French food! As a kid, I learnt how to peel carrots, pipe cream on cakes and prepare food for weddings. And I’ve always loved being creative and working directly with people.’
HEEYYY ANTHEA!
I love that you have so many dreams at the moment! You want to work for a magazine, be a graphic designer, or maybe an event planner. You even created a website with a bright fuchsia-pink background where you share photos of your friends and say nice things about them!
However, ‘following your dreams’ feels impossible right now because your family doesn’t support you. Your family truly believes they have your best interests at heart, but this makes you feel incredibly powerless and insignificant. Your family can’t see your full potential… and to be honest, you haven’t seen it either. Give yourself some time and you’ll realise what you’re capable of (hint: it’s similar to what you enjoy now). And when you move out of home (trust me, it’ll happen), you’ll have so much more freedom than you do now.
In these few years, you and your friends will have lots of crushes and maybe a few innocent relationships. You already have some silly stories to tell, haha! Those guys in your life… don’t take all of them seriously, but I think a part of you already knows that.
Now on to the serious stuff – I know you’ve found the last few years very overwhelming… and that’s totally valid! You’re experiencing many things for the first time ever and it all feels scary.
At the age of 15, you’ve already recovered from depression, anxiety, and overcome many dark hurdles. And wow, I’m so, so proud of you! I don’t think you realise how diffcult it is for anyone, at any age, to heal from that stuff.
But now you’re in a battle with your body. Your body is changing, your weight is fluctuating, and you’re getting curves where you’ve never seen them. You know what? It’s so normal for your body to change as a teen. I know you feel really uncomfortable right now, but please hang in there – everything will balance out in a few years, and you’ll absolutely glow! Don’t listen to those relatives who criticise your body or monitor what you eat. In some cultures, it seems socially acceptable to tell someone that they’re ‘fat’. For the sake of mental health, this is NEVER OK! Your self-worth is not tied to your body, even if some people tell you so.
I know that you just want to be accepted or feel like you ‘belong’ to a group. I don’t blame you. You have an Asian background, so you look different from other kids in your school. Hang in there – you will eventually find your people.
Some people in your life have no empathy and will blame and gaslight you for unusual things. You know what… most of the time, it’s reflective of their shortcomings, not yours. If something doesn’t feel right, you’re probably correct. Practise standing your ground or walk away!
I know that you are so hard on yourself and have a lot of negative self-talk. Some people have said mean things to you, and you’ve actually internalised all of those sentences and thoughts. You know, you don’t deserve any of that. (And I wish I could give you the biggest hug!)
It might sound strange or lame, but have you tried talking to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend? Sooo, if your best friend was upset or angry at a situation, what would you say to her? Try saying those exact things to yourself. Over time, you’ll learn to be kinder to yourself.
If you can, I’d really urge you to see your school counsellor (or a therapist). And no, you’re not ‘crazy’, ‘insane’, or ‘weak’ if you see one. Talking to someone older and outside your circle will really change your life. I just know that you deserve so much more. And the sooner you learn healthy coping mechanisms, the better… trust me.
Your close friends are the most important thing in your life at the moment, and for good reason – they’re like family to you! I know you’ve got a busy schedule outside of school, but keep chatting to your friends, go to all the parties, and just have fun. 20 years later, you’ll still be laughing at the little mischievous things you got up to! But that’s between you and me…
It’s hard to believe, but the best is yet to come. Listen to your inner voice, work hard but not too hard, and cherish your friends as much as you can.
With all of the love in the world,
ANTHEA X
